So i found my friends... They were always there right in front of me. But i was too blind to see that.

Yeah.. so i will admit. i was going to try and do what trent did... but a different way. Everyones right.. i cant go through with it. Even the people that hate my fucking guts.I know everyones saying that its stupid.... and i know it. But you have to see it through my eyes. I feel like no one cares anymore.. Its amazing how one person can change everything.... well.... two. =]

So...Thank You.

So... since ..eh prob. 8:30pm of tonight.. ive been going out with Gabe.

And so far.. Hes amazing . <3

I remember last year when Trent broke up with me b/cuz gabe liked me.. but i wouldnt go out with him. You think that Trent was right?... That would be pretty cool... but yet weird.

Sigh.. im still depressed. I still dont see a point in living on this earth.. but still.. i have to deal with it and not take the easy way out i guess.

&For those of my so called "friends"------- FUCK OFF, and FUCK YOU. i dont need you anymore.

<3Always&Forever

TAT3R....

A waste of time..

So im single now.. for two weeks. Andrew broke up with me... Oh well it happens right? .

Im getting tired of all this shit. Ive been trying to act happy in front of my friends, when really im not. Well.. i doubt i even have "friends" anymore. Im giving up.. Even if i act how i normally am, ppl get all ticked off at me. Im SORRY that thats how i truely feel about myself.

Well i wrote this on Sunday, so this basically sums it all up. :

Tomorrows going to be the day. But tomorrows just an excuse to wait. I dont have the courage, or the strength.Im a coward. Everythings going downhill, but do i expect you to understand?
Of course not. Theres too many reasons to say why, but its like im speaking in a language no one understands. So im finally giving up. Im not dealing with this anymore.. yet with my friends, ill always love them. Even if it means ill never see them. But hey, "thats life" and i have to deal with it.
*So dont reply to this.*
So im saying this once,and only once...
I Love You All. Even if you dont love me back.
And i know some of you say you care. But Do you realize how hard it is to go on, without anybody there at the end of the road wondering if you'll make it through? To help you through the difficult time im dealing with now?. Im a burden to so many.. i dont see the point anymore. So im running away, from myself, my family,relationships, friends and those other "friends".
I dont want sympathy.
I want somebody who will always be there for me.
So this is the truth, this is my depression.
And even if you dont understand, dont try to.
Its not worth the time.
Time is very short... And you need all the time you have with your own.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Not alot people understand what i mean when i say this. But its ok.. im usually misunderstood.

[[im stealing this from you ali]]==> Final Count today : 12

yeah.. it hurts.

Well i havent wrote in this for awhile now..

Mmm.. updates.. ---- Ive been going out with Andrew Martin now for 1month and about a week... and things are going Great.. even tho he's a lil weird..[jk]..... hes truely amazing.  

Over the past few days ive come to realize who my real friends are... some ppl seem to me to act like they're cool with you cuz your friends with one of their friends. So many people are changing now a days. its pretty sad. If you think about it when we grow older most likely everyone's going to lose contact with one another,and we wont be somewhat of friends that everyone is today. Idk.. im just tired of it all. Its pathetic, and people should express themselves and not hide their true feelings with one another. I know some people understand me on this...

.....Schools going alright for me..Everybodys at Vantage tho, which sucks, but.. ill most likely be there next year... And im beginning to be friends with some ppl that i use to be friends with.... so.. thats cool, right?

Well..... i can not think of anything else to write about.. sooooo... look me up on myspace.:

http://www.myspace.com/xbleedxbyxyourselfx

You should write me, message me, comment me, or add me. =D ...

Peace and love [<3]

[[emily]]

Boredom Sucks...

Wellll....i havent wrote in this in awhile. ....So some things that have been goin on lately.......->

Im going out with Matt Parsons... we've been going out for 2 months.. and going to be 3 on the 21st... yup yup. Hes in North Carolina now... hes getting back on July 1st. ... and yeah it sucks but who knows. it could bring us closer... ?

i hate summer. its so boring. im usually stuck home listening to music and staring at my celing.... i hate boredom. i actually wish school would hurry up and get here. Isnt that sad?.....

Sunday i went boating with my sister Stephanie and her b/f Mark. it was pretty fun... i almost fell out a couple times but yeah.. im still alive. we boated in the creek by Willshire[Sp?] .... and yeah it was kinda scary cuz it was flooded and there were trees everywhere... and yeah we couldve died.---> *joking*.

hm..... welp. my birthday was June 1st. im 15 now! yeah buddy.... i didnt know this but Cory has the same birthday as me... so now we can celebrate our birthdays together! haha..

well thats all i can think of to write...................I Love you All so very much....l8r.

<3*emily[[tat3r]].